


Terminally Ambivalent of You

by oh_captainMYcaptain



Category: Marvel Adventures: Avengers, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Almost A Songfic, Alternate Universe, Anger, Explicit Language, F/M, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Natasha is a great friend, Sexual Frustration, Standing up for yourself, Steve is adorable, Thor is a sweetheart, Tony is a jerk, but he ends up having a heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-01
Updated: 2014-08-04
Packaged: 2018-02-11 09:13:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2062428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oh_captainMYcaptain/pseuds/oh_captainMYcaptain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So, you've sort of fallen in love with Tony Stark. Or... Maybe not... You can't decide. Tony is hard enough to like, let alone love! In fact, he drives you absolutely insane. But how can a man who makes you want to beat him bloody also make you hot with desire like no one before? Sometimes you really just wish your heart and your head could work together for once.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Final Straw

**Author's Note:**

> It's short and to the point. Kind of just an intro to the situation. The next two chapters will be longer. (: More notes at the end!!

You tried so hard to get his attention. You dressed up in the sexiest, most drool-worthy clothes you could get without looking like a complete whore, experimented with various hairstyles, wore elaborate make-up, read up on his interests, and even got into his music. Well, that last one wasn’t a difficult task... The man had incredible taste! And yet, despite all your efforts, he continued to ignore your existence. He went about his days and nights with all the easy, young lovelies the city could provide, leaving you to lick your wounds in the corner like a kicked dog.

The rest of the group noticed right off the bat. You’d lost count of the sympathetic looks from Steve, or the heart-felt mutterings of ‘hang in there’ from Bruce. Clint mostly just made threats to beat some sense into Tony for you while Thor liked to try and keep your mind from wandering to the man by entertaining you with stories from Asgard. Natasha, who had become a fast friend of yours ever since you took the job with the Avengers and joined their forces, was consistent in telling you to forget him and move on if he was going to continue acting the way he was. She would remind you, on the nights you’d hide slightly heart-broken with a tub of ice cream in your room, that you were better than that and needed to get it together. “You’re a part of something a lot bigger now,” she’d say, catching your big, (eyecolor) eyes in a serious look. “Don’t let some man-whore like Stark ruin that for you.”

It wasn’t until breakfast one morning that those words finally hit full force. You were sitting on a stool at the counter, sipping a mug of strong, black coffee and nibbling on a toasted bagel when Tony made a noisy entrance with some trashy blonde who reeked of booze, sweat, and sex mixed with the faint aroma of whatever overly expensive perfume she wore the night before.

“Good morning, (firstname)! Could I possibly, uh, get a favor?” he asked the last part as he took you by the arm and pulled you off your stool and around a corner quickly.

“Hey!” you cried out, indignant and glaring at him. He made a shushing sign with his finger to his lips. He leaned in close enough for you to feel his breath ghosting over your face, causing you to wiggle uncomfortably.

“So, it turns out this chick is slightly more crazy than I thought last night and I REALLY need you to help me out here and get her in a cab and out of my life, yeah?” he whispered frantically, holding you by both arms and staring intensely into your eyes. 

You had no words and just stared back, mouth slightly agape with your horror. Apparently, that was all the confirmation he needed. 

“Good!!” Turning away from you and going back into the kitchen, you heard him shout, “Tracie? Baby?”

And that was it. That was the final straw. From that moment on your feelings for Tony Stark went from crippling puppy love... to nearly nothing at all. The weight that was lifted made you feel lighter than you had in a long while. It seemed odd, not a typical response, but despite everything... you smiled.


	2. Booze and Beauty Pageants

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Group bonding, drunk fun, and self-reflection. Or rather, getting angry and putting Tony (kind of) in his place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if anything I wrote about or said in this chapter is at all offensive to anyone. Also, I didn't say this before, but I own nothing!! And if there are any blatant errors, let me know. I'm very sleep-deprived at the moment. :)

A few months had gone by, blurred by intense training sessions, a small mission here or there, and group “bonding” sessions that mostly consisted of getting drunk on a Friday or Saturday night and dissecting reality TV show personalities with the precision of a college student getting a doctoral. It was one of those nights, a Friday on a cool mid-summer evening, that you found yourself plopped on the couch between the warm mass of muscles known as Steve Rogers and Thor. You were slightly squished but still unbelievably comfortable in your gray nighttime shorts and baby blue t-shirt that was soft and faded with age and plenty of use.

Natasha and Clint were cuddling on the adjacent loveseat, Bruce on the floor in a red beanbag, and Tony lounged in an armchair that matched the couch and the loveseat in smooth, classy black leather. Everyone had drinks in their hand, and the chosen show for this particular evening was something about children with bad attitudes and their parents with even worse attitudes entering them into outrageous beauty pageants. It was a little nauseating to watch, but somehow you couldn’t look away as everyone swapped comments and mocked the concept.

“Those little girls are going to have such mommy issues when they grow up,” Clint said during a commercial break, a slight look of disdain marring his features.

“Can you say, ‘future stripper?’” Natasha added in, laughing when Clint elbowed her in the ribs playfully.

You sighed contently as you listened to the groups banter. The alcohol had definitely taken effect - you couldn’t quite remember how much you’d had - and your head was swimming accompanied by a warmth that was spreading throughout your whole body. You closed your (eyecolor) eyes as a small smile played along your lips. You felt at peace, until you realized that the “warmth” spreading through you was actually a sudden urgency to urinate. You began to squirm in discomfort.

“(Firstname), what are you doing?” Steve chuckled, him and Thor both gazing at you now. You blushed.

“Are we taking up too much couch space, m’lady?” Thor asked, slightly slurred, with a big grin.

You shook your head. “No, I just have to pee really bad!”

Thor laughed loudly and Steve began to poke at your sides, trying to tickle you. You made a noise similar to that of a dying cat and this caused Thor to laugh louder. All the while, the others gazed in amusement with the exception of one: Tony. If you had been in your right mind, you might have noticed something akin to jealousy lurking behind his gaze.

“Steve!! Stop it! I’m gonna wet the couch!!” you wailed, trying to bat his hands away.

“My God, (Firstname), if you have to go that bad, get up and go!!” Bruce demanded playfully, trying to avoid getting kicked by your flailing feet.

You finally gave in. “Fine!! But no one better steal my spot.” You got up and staggered towards the bathroom, muttering under your breath about how you were comfortable but didn’t like peeing on stuff that wasn’t yours.

The group’s attention went back to the awful show, allowing Tony an opportunity to silently slip out under the pretense of getting a refill. In reality, he was planning on finding you

**

After taking care of your business you found yourself outside on the patio. The cool air felt great against your booze-flushed skin as you listened to the symphony of traffic and city noises, the twinkling lights dancing shadows across your face and body. The semi-silence gave you a moment to reflect upon the past few months and all that had happened in that short time.

It could’ve been the alcohol, or a moment of clarity brought on by the quiet away from the herd, but thoughts of Tony came to you suddenly. You had noticed things were… different a few days after the fiasco that morning in the kitchen. Maybe he had noticed you had stopped focusing on him. Or perhaps it was all just in your head. Of course your body - and if you were being at all honest, a bit of your heart - still longed for his attention, but your head continued to convince you to step away and not care.

You’d had crushes before. This was not new territory. However, there was something about Tony Stark that just made you want to…

“Scream,” you muttered to yourself. “He makes me want to scream.”

Never before had you had such vivid images of violently bludgeoning another (somewhat) innocent human being to death with a stick or a shoe. And yet, at the same time, he haunted your dreams in a very x-rated manner, and just a whisper of his name on your lips set your nerve-endings alight with desire. Plus, the man was intriguing. He was smart. Funny. Exceptionally talented and handsome as all hell. Nevertheless, he could be remarkably frustrating, rude, insincere, and so damn cocky you felt like scratching your eyeballs out.

All the conflicting emotions, the ambivalence you were feeling, was almost too much to handle. It was almost stupid how angry he was able to make you. No one should be able to control another person’s emotions like that!

“Why can’t he just…” You started but were interrupted by a familiar voice.

“Why can’t who just what?” Tony asked, sauntering towards you from the entrance to the patio. The long sleeved black shirt he was wearing hugged his shape like a second skin and the blue-white glow of the arc reactor shone through the fabric like a beacon.

You stood, as well as you could in your inebriated state, like a deer caught in headlights as the man you were just monologuing internally about stopped just a few short inches away. ‘Speak of the devil...’ you thought a bit bitterly as you tried to act nonchalant and unnerved. Despite your valiant efforts, your heart still raced and, oh man… he smelled amazing. Like fancy cars, hard work, and everything else just manly with a distinctive hint of something uniquely Tony.

You cheesed a grin in his direction. “Hey, Stark!! That was, uh… nothing. Just me thinking out loud and whatnot,” you lied.

His eyes narrowed a fraction and he crossed his arms over his chest. He said, in a dubious tone, “I see,” and then in a friendlier fashion, “What’re you doing out here all alone, (firstname)?”

Rubbing the back of your neck, you shrugged. “Just getting some fresh air, I guess. I don’t really know, actually. I think I’m a bit drunk.” You emphasized the last sentence by whispering it like it was a big secret and nudging him playfully. Tony half-smiled, half-smirked.

“Don’t tempt me, sweetheart. I might take advantage of you,” he winked and chuckled.

“Uhh…” was all you could say. Eloquent. Thank heavens for the dark because your blush was bright crimson and probably embarrassing.

Tony let his arms fall to his sides and sighed happily, staring out at the city like you were doing before. It was quiet again save for your breathing mingling with his and the thrumming of your heart in your ears. You watched him for a moment, appreciating the fine art that was sculpted before you, until he turned to look at you and you dropped your gaze quickly. His chocolate eyes held a question and he softly placed a warm hand upon your shoulder.

“(Firstname), I can’t help but think you’ve been avoiding me lately. What’s going on? Did I do something wrong? Something to offend you?”

You skin was pricking and burning where he was touching you and your stomach began doing gymnastics in your gut. You forced your gaze back up to his and immediately regretted your decision. He was so close, and you could feel the breath from his lungs ghosting over your face and lips. Combined with his heady scent and your intoxication, desire and want and need all bloomed inside you and your hands shook. But then, his words registered, and you found yourself stepping back, irrational anger suddenly washing over you like a hot flash.

“Are you seriously asking me that right now?” you laughed coldly. The booze was definitely making you brave. “I tried so hard to get you to notice me, and… and… God, Tony, I can’t even look at you right now!!”

Your outburst left him looking shocked, and maybe just a little hurt, but at the moment you didn’t care. Instead you turned on your heel and stormed inside. You didn’t look back, but if you had, you might have heard his soft confession of, “I know… and I’m sorry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter numero dos!! Thanks for reading, lovelies.


	3. Hangovers and Passion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You finally decide to come forward about your feelings to Tony... and get more than you bargained for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter, guys!!! Again, let me know if anything is amiss. I know they were all a little OOC, but bear with me. If you have any prompts or requests, let me know and I'll see what I can do to help bring them to life. :)

The next morning you awoke in your bed with a throbbing headache and a stomach that felt like an angry sea. You remember most of the night, but somehow didn’t remember drinking quite THAT much. When something cold touched your leg underneath the covers, you had a feeling what it would be even before reaching your fingers inside the bedding and closing them around a bottle neck. You pulled out a nearly empty bottle of (favoritealcohol) and grimaced. When had you suddenly become Tony Stark?

Oh wait… That’s right. You began to recall the events on the patio now. You were so angry and so desperate to get away from Tony that you barrelled inside and insisted on everyone doing shots. Before you knew it, you had the bottle to yourself and were stumbling to your room, throwing back swigs like it was going out of style. Thinking back on it, you weren’t exactly sure why you had that sudden angry outburst. Well, you knew… but you didn’t know. Tony was the thorn in your side just as much as he was the keeper of your heart. Those few months ago, after that morning in the kitchen, you had convinced yourself that your feelings for the man were gone. In reality, it didn’t take you long to realize that feelings as strong as yours don’t just disappear like that. He may be a complete jerk sometimes, but somehow you still wanted him to be your jerk.

Sighing heavily, you glanced at the clock and wasn’t at all surprised that it read nearly one in the afternoon. Carefully and slowly you slid from your deliciously warm and comfortable bed and slipped into your room’s adjoining bathroom. The light was bright and made you squint at your reflection staring back at you in the mirror. Your face looked pale and kind of like it was made from clay, your eyes tired and red-rimmed, and your (haircolor) hair a complete rat’s nest. You felt like you were gonna hurl - which probably wouldn’t be a bad idea - but instead turned on the shower and began to strip.

As you leaned against the wall under the hot spray you had one thought: You were going to apologize to Tony. After all, you couldn’t blame him too much for being blind towards you if you’d never revealed any of your feelings. It was about time you sucked it up and showed him your cards.

**

After your shower and a couple pieces of toast with a big glass of water, you began to feel more human. Unfortunately this meant you had no excuse to hide in your room all day and avoid your issues. It’s not like anyone was forcing you to go ahead and do this, but you had told yourself you would. If you didn’t, no one would know except you… And yet, you found yourself outside his workshop, nervously tugging on the drawstrings of your Juicy sweatpants.

The system wasn’t locked and the door let you in without incident, signaling Tony was probably in a good mood. He had music playing and was intensely studying what looked like blue prints on a computer monitor. To avoid surprising him and also to respect his privacy in case what he was looking at were for his eyes only, you knocked loudly on one of the work tables near the door.

Tony looked up immediately and his face split into a big grin, making your heart flutter annoyingly.

“Hey, you little party animal. How are you feeling? JARVIS told me you slept in pretty late,” he laughed, walking towards you as you approached him. You met in the middle of the room, your eyes not exactly able to meet his warm chocolate ones. You used your long hair to create a miniature barrier, feeling incredibly shy and anxious all of a sudden.

“Yeah,” you mumbled, crossing your arms over your chest and shrugging, “I actually wanted to apologize for that. And for some other stuff, too…” You trailed off, taking a deep breath and looking up into his eyes. His gaze looked more like whiskey with fire behind it now in the lighting. His jaw was set and face hard, but still somehow completely honest and sincere.

“No, (yourname), listen. I should be apologizing to you. I know I’m a total asshole dick sometimes, but… What I’m trying to say is… shit…” He blew out an agitated breath and ran a greasy hand through his hair. This was new. In all the time you’ve know Tony, you’d never heard him at a loss for words. 

It was sort of weird, and scary, and before you knew it you were blurting out, “I fucking hate you, Stark.”

The room got really quiet and awkward really fast. Tony looked at you with a mixture of shock, horror, and… hurt. (Eyecolor) eyes widening to the size of saucers, you held your hands up in front of you and flailed slightly. “Wait a minute!! That’s not what I meant to say!!!”

A mask covering his features again, Tony squared his shoulders and looked down at you. “Really? Then what did you mean to say?” There was something petulant and childish in his voice that just snapped something inside of you.

“I meant to say you drive me fucking crazy, man!!!” you growled, stepping towards him and prodding him in the chest with one of your fingers. “You make me want to scream and cry and break stuff! You get me so angry I literally see red! And yet, every night since I’ve moved in here, you’re all I dream about and think about and I can’t get you out of my stupid head! I don’t understand you, Tony. I’ve been right here, wanting you, and -”

Your rant gets cut off by the heavy, hot pressure of Tony’s lips on yours. Somewhere during your “confession” he had closed the last remaining inches of space between your bodies and pulled you against him, one hand holding you firmly in place by the hip, the other at the back of your neck. At first you just stood there, eyes wide, but after a moment’s hesitation you fell into his searing kiss. His fingers on one hand tangled in your long, soft hair and the others drew circles on your hip bone. It tickled, but not in an unpleasant way. Your hands clutched at the fabric of his tshirt, mouth opening in a gasp when he nipped your full bottom lip sharply, allowing his talented tongue entrance. You explored every crevice of each other’s mouths, tongues dancing slowly at first together to an unheard rhythm, then battling for dominance as the heat and lust began driving you both into ecstasy. Separating quickly for breath, Tony pushed you into one of the tables, crowding his body as close to yours as possible when completely clothed, and kissed you again hard and dirty. Your hands found their way to his shoulders, then his dark hair, and his to your ass. You were making desperate little noises that he was more than happy to swallow when his hips began grinding into yours fast and rough.

The need for oxygen became too much to ignore, and you regretfully broke the kiss, panting heavily. Tony rested his forehead against yours, eyes open and dark with lust. He stared intensely into your own wild gaze.

“(Yourname), I’m sorry for the way I acted in the beginning. It’s unexcusable, but believe me when I say that I didn’t realize what I was missing out on. I know it sounds horrible, but I guess I didn’t take notice until you stopped trying. For some reason, it made me realize how much I wanted you,” Tony confessed, one hand coming up to cup your flushed face tenderly.

You nodded, still reeling from your intense kiss with this man and feeling slightly scared of what you were about to say. You licked your lips, trying calm your racing pulse.

“Tony, I don’t hate you. I… I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you, actually.”

His smile could have lit up all of Stark Tower. The hand cupping your face pulled you in for another kiss, sweeter and gentler this time, but still as good as the one before. Pulling back, he met your gaze once again.

“I know, and I’m in love with you. And I know I can be… difficult… but they say there’s a fine line between love and hate. They both come from passion. Have you ever had angry sex? It’s fantastic,” he winked and smiled suggestively.

“I like the sound of that,” you purred, hooking your fingers through the belt loops of his jeans and pulling him against you to share in another mind-blowing kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> So guys, that was my first official piece of writing I posted for a fandom. What did you all think? Comments are always appreciated along with constructive criticism. Thanks to everyone for reading!!! :)


End file.
